At times, as a couple when we have lived through a phase of life for too long, it becomes a regular part of life and we cease to see a possibility of experiencing life in a different way. Sometimes, memories of happier times fade away. These insipid times start affecting our overall well being of life. We do not know where to turn to. There is often a pattern or way of communicating that may not be apparent to you, but that is the real source of the tension you experience.  It is important to discover the heart of the matter so that it is easier to gain a sense of understanding and compassion for yourself and your partner. This is what will make it possible for you to develop new ways of interacting, ultimately allowing you and your marriage to evolve with the changing times.

Parenthood is not easy.  I’m here to help you with the transition to parenthood as well as the struggles of raising children.  Prioritizing your relationship with your spouse/partner along with parenting may seem almost impossible. However, this relationship balance is essential. Together, we will discover ways for you to become better co-parents, friends, and partners.  This will ultimately bring an increased sense of happiness and satisfaction to your whole family.

Your online counsellor can help you with:

• Understanding your patterns of communication
Developing conflict resolution strategies
Being aware of your priorities
Bringing into each other’s awareness the attitudes towards money, career, parenting, sex, infidelity, family, friends, etc;
Dealing with losses and deepening the unique couple bond
Understanding the concept of individuating as well as building the couple identity
Parting ways in a healthy manner

As your counselling sessions progress, you and your partner may find a way of overcoming your problems, or you may decide it is time to part ways. Either way, hopefully counselling will offer you the space to grow and decide what you would like the future to hold for both of you., Whether its lack of trust, jealousy, lack of communication, financial or work related issues, abusive behaviour, controlling behaviour, sexual issues, differences in goals and values, changing lives, different parenting styles, etc talking to a professional can be a great sep forward.


“For without a high degree of trust and intimacy between two people, very little can be accomplished”

 

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QUESTION / ANSWER

“I am a 31 year old married woman. It’s been two years we have been married. We do not have children. We have been having marital problems and untill now, I feel I was the only one putting efforts to make this marriage works out. But recently, I have decided to call it off as my husband is not even trying to meet my basic expectations half way. Should I feel guilty about giving up on my marriage? How should I deal with those guilt feelings?”

Manjula, Call Center, Bangalore

 

“Hi, your situation is not very clear through the questions that have been asked. I am not sure at what stage you and your marriage are, i.e. have you decided to quit, are you considering it, have you spoken to your husband, etc. I would be able to help you significantly only with these details but for the time being let me focus on the specifics asked by you.  The premises for a marriage to work in the long run are similar needs, goals, values, etc; if the initial stage has passed and you are not able to establish connection on these fundamentals then without an intervention the marriage would most likely turn out to be an unhappy one. At this stage you need to get help to make it work by either taking up mutual responsibility or finding someone to help you. But if you have worked through while things do not improve and you want to quit it is certainly hard for most people. It’s particularly tougher when your spouse still does not believe that ending the marriage is an option possible. There is this feeling of guilt most of us face as somewhere we wonder are we being selfish and also have feelings of self doubt. It is definitely a tough process but you have to go through this in case you want to be out of it and give yourself and your spouse a healthy life.

Certainly if you struggle together every day despite your best efforts then you are being dishonest. Dishonesty also is something which can induce shame. Hence talk it through and do come to a decision soon which will save you both from the pain at least partly. The belief that your responsibility towards your spouses’ well being can be the sole reason to stay put in a marriage’ is irrational. This is a conclusion which has been drawn without context. It does not hold true. You need to understand yourself and your marriage better together with your spouse while you get help in challenging your beliefs that are self defeating...”

Richa Khetawat, Family Counsellor, Masters in Clinical Psychology

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