Know your dreams, feel your fears: that is achievement!
Whether it is quitting an addiction, find a better job, get in shape or finding the right balance in relationships, we all have our dreams. In order to get what you want, you need to be aware about how you feel, while you start expressing your feeling…This makes you confident and sets you on the path of achieving your dreams. Doing what you want in life rather than what the norms or what others expect you to do. This is the most part of working towards your dreams. Dreams are about working towards your potential.
When you are not aware about what you want to do you end up feeling you cannot do anything and life is fine the way it is going. The motivational levels are very low.
How to understand your dreams?
- We all are a personality with many deep sub personalities that are not a part of our visible core. We behave differently in different situations and with different people. Hence our distinct sub personalities are at play while we are participating in various chores, relationships and dealing with varied situations. It is just that we define ourselves limited based on our behaviour patterns most of the time. Due to this we are not able to build up those parts of ourselves that is required to fulfil our dreams. We just give up feeling and think: ‘I cannot do it! I will not be able to change myself!’
Instead we should understand our dreams better. After that we should realise and name our sub personalities that are required in order to work towards your dreams. Give thoughts and vision to them which will make them ‘yours and believable’.
- We all experience an emotion called jealousy from time to time. But at the same time most of us do not acknowledge it as it gives rise to another emotion: shame. We brush our thoughts around jealousy aside so that we do not feel low on self esteem. Rather than doing that we should be conscious about our emotions. If you are jealous of someone, that means there is a potential dream. Observe it! Do not judge yourself. It is fine to feel occasional jealousy.
- Are you doing what makes you happy? If not you might not be aware of your unique talents.
- Realise your resistance. Most of us want to be safe and not feel anxious. Hence we deny our dreams in order to get rid of anxiety that we cannot cope with. It will be fine to feel your fears and still work towards your goals. You do not have to work on your fears and get rid of them. Stop the thoughts that pressurise you into incompetence. Enjoy what you are doing whether good or bad.
- Ask yourself questions about your dreams and take small steps towards working on them.
- Once you have a dream think about the steps you can take towards them
- Define the dream specifically. You might need to ask yourself some questions to be sure while you do it. Like this is what you would like to spend your time on or this is what you kept fantasizing about for years or this is what makes you feel alive in this phase of life.
- Plan it out. Think about how to start taking small steps. These small steps will be sub-goals that help you start with. Begin here with short term planning. Have targets for the coming days and not years. Read stories about others with similar dreams. Join communities for support and expression of your feelings.
- Act on it. Start working. Break the cycle of dreaming now, the only way you can is start working on it with the plan you have. Punish yourself if you falter and reward yourself if you carry out your plan.
- Evaluate. When you do not feel motivated, evaluate your progress. More often than not you have to rethink and readjust with more planning.It is important to anticipate obstacles coming your way.One of the strongest obstacles is your goal not being able to give you enough money to sustain it or feel proud about it. Remember that it is your dream, it makes you happy. It can be part time so that you can sustain it. Plan it well financially in advance so that you do not give it up for money. Your dreams do not have to be your career path.
Many of us feel this is not the right thing for me! It is mostly instinctive. It is also not based on evidence but mostly an assumption. It could be result of having to conform to some societal /family standards. Do not think of giving up your dream as you consider it wrong. Reflect and understand is it really wrong. Does it cause direct harm to people or environment?
- A lot of us feel isolated as we do not see where to start. It will help you to research and gather as much information as you can. Do not shy away from asking from help or networking with others. Sometimes when you have no one to talk to you can start with expressing your dreams to everyone around you including online communities. You would be pleasantly surprised to realise how small ideas help if you choose to open up and integrate yourself with others. It helps a lot if you start building a few skills by learning them on your own through practise and research or through classes.
- Biggest obstacle is the fact that we believe we do not have time. Sure most of us do not have time! But a bit of scheduling will help. When you have your first steps planned out just think when it is you can start doing it. It could be limited to once a week. That time in the week when you do not have professional or social commitment some evening over a weekday or a weekend morning. Just fix it for a specific time.
- Dealing with your thoughts. Your thoughts are the language in which you talk to yourself. They can encourage or discourage you. They can motivate you to believe in yourself and push yourself to achieve what makes you happy. At the same time they can pull your confidence down. Hence be conscious of your negative thinking pattern. If you find yourself thinking thoughts like ‘I cannot change myself’, ‘this is not going to work’, ‘it is not worth it’ or ‘He/she will not approve of it’, then stop yourself and find positive ways to think and motivate yourself.
Counselling will help you be aware of what you want to do and understand your dreams better. It will help you change the way you think and talk to yourself. Feel free to ask me a question or book an appointment if you wish to work better towards your dreams and need help to achieve your objectives in life.